I think you deserve an unsolicited life update from me tonight.
I am having a terrible time concentrating because there is a seductive bag of chips beside me and I am having an internal debate if I will eat this now or save it for tomorrow.
1. 5 days in on October and I feel perfectly fine despite being in an an almost similar situation as September. There is definitely something different in the air I tell you.
2. Unfollowed ‘fashion’ blogs that posts impossibly good looking guys because according to my stats,
SELF-CONFIDENCE is alarmingly low while
INSECURITY has reached an all-time high.
3. 6/7 months ago, I’ve posted something about trying toy-modding and probably profit from it but so far I’ve been only able to acquire a single toy that’s been collecting dust ever since and no art supplies to actually use. It’s a pain living in a place with no actual arts and crafts store available (at least to my knowledge) fml
4. I deleted Marvel: Avengers Alliance in Facebook because I feel it draining me once again. I promise to make a permanent retirement from the game this time for nothing good ever came from my ‘relapse’.
5. I want to start reading the Lord of the Rings books already but I was only able to acquire the last two parts of the set and I want to begin with The Hobbit which is the only logical thing to do imo but I was not able to find any with the same cover and it’s been months already can you not see the struggle im dying over here
Yeah. Hi. Good evening!
Before I left for work, I have Mom blabbering about — enumerating the things we need to pay, cursing the neighbor who refuses to pay the money they borrowed 4 months ago and then wrapping up by asking for my half-month’s pay — same as yesterday. I would normally be so furious about this, my face gnarled to a very unrecognizable wrinkle while detesting the people who invented money that I wish they could be reanimated so I could kill them again but no, I was able to handle it pretty darn well. I can’t, fortunately, seem to get very angry about this. There was a little surge, sure, but not enough to even last a 5-minute internal breakdown.
There were no heavy feelings on the chest or on the belly, no zombie-like daze, no strain on the back, there was not even a dull moment at work today. I’m delighted with how this day turned out. There’s something different in the air today — it’s October.
I can’t wait for September to be over.
This month has been a long and arduous ride. I have never felt so depleted, helpless and increasingly frustrated with each passing day. I go to work with only a half of my usual daily allowance in my pocket, angry, and then spend the rest of the day in a zombie-like daze. Machines in the house started malfunctioning, my brother’s tuition is due, Dad started feeling weak again and Mom, poor Mom, she seems to be getting sick from all that worrying. Then there’s rent delays w/c is the source of our income, and the land we’re selling keeps getting interefered with.
My grade school history teacher told us once that for some reason, life seems to be harder during September, I thought I was the only one who noticed that. Wake me up when September ends indeed. I hate feeling like this, it’s very tiring. I’m so tired. Very, very tired.
I hope October will be different. Only a few hours to go…
I’ve learned that if a person can go to you and say things about another person so easily, know that he/she can do the same thing behind your back.
20 Facts About Me
- My full name is Golan Fernando-Canuzo.
- It was originally going to be Kris Kristofferson
- I am Pampango and Batangueño
- I can understand Kapampangan but unable to speak it
- I was first honor from Grade 1 until I was in second year high school
- I don’t smoke and will never smoke
- Reading horror stories scare me more than watching them in movies
- No girlfriend since birth
- I stand 6’ 1”, sometimes 6’ 2” idk
- I still have my very first teddy bear
- I don’t like eggplants. I can’t swallow it and for some reason I will throw up automatically if I detect eggplants in my food
- Psychology is my 7th college degree choice (in order: Mass Communication, MedTech, RadTech, Physical Therapy, Political Science, Information Technology and finally, Psychology…but I wish I considered a business related course)
- I chose my school based on architecture and the surroundings
- I have no ‘best’ friend…
- I feel uncomfortable if my jeans aren’t tight on the legs
- I find my head to be slightly bigger for my body
- I had a brief emo-phase in fashion followed by a kpop androgyny thing…didn’t look good
- I had a crush as a kid on my Kimberly(Power Ranger Pink) action figure. I tied a veil on her head and we got married
- I like the smell of lit gasoline
- I can sense if a person is bullshiting me